Great lyrics, great sound; Great lyrics, mediocre sound; Great sound, no lyrics.

Cause you confused me more than anyone

An adjustment has begun to let me feel the desperate

need to leave what we undid, undone

And maybe you could sympathize

with the bags under my eyes and we'll see the signs are

saying that we have used up all our (tries)

Try To be a better person

To be a better friend

To be a better son

He tries to be a better someone

who understands the difference

And that he can show all the people all the things

that really mean as much as he could (feel)

Feels like I don't remember ever

being this tired

Before now my eyes were closed to

all of the beauty in this world

Well I actually have a lot to talk about since my last post, but seeing as I'm really tired I thought I would just update with some really good lyrics from a classic song. I love songs with lyrics that require the listener to think. In my opinion, it takes music listening to such a grand level.

Insert Phineas and Ferb Theme Song Here

Vacation tomorrow! I'm so excited to finally have a week to just spend with my family. We definitely need this, that's for sure.

Today will basically be me packing for tomorrow, and then working for the rest of the day. I don't really want to work today, but the other half of me wants to get today over with so it can be tomorrow.

6 am tomorrow morning can't come any faster!

Head Chirps

There are a couple of excruciatingly annoying birds outside of my window right now, and I can't sleep. If I shut the window, it will be much quieter, but also much hotter in my room, causing me to stay awake. If I leave the window open, it will be cooler, but the birds will continue to rattle my brain. Plus on top of that it's one of those nights where my mind decides to think about everything, thus making it impossible for me to actually fall asleep.

But on the bright side, I have no plans or work tomorrow, so it's not really like I have anything to be really awake for. So now, here I am, spilling my written brains all over this clean, empty post.

Summer school starts tomorrow (or rather, today) and I have yet to receive my textbook. Of course I only ordered it the other day; leave it to me to wait until the last minute to discover the solid starting date for me summer class. I hope the class goes well. It's the first online class I have ever taken, and I know I am going to have to push myself to be disciplined enough to read when I have the time before doing other things. I know it will be good for me.

That brings me to the topic of where I want to transfer to. My main choice is still Davis, but I just can't seem to find any solid confidence that I will even get into the school. My first semester in college earned me an A, B, and two C's. I know I got at least one more C this last semester. That only puts my gpa at around a 2.9-3.2, and since schools are starting to look at everything for incoming students, including transfers, it makes me worried that I will even get accepted into Davis. Which means I must find suitable schools to fall back on in case I don't make it. But where to go? I don't really want to go down south, but the only places I would want to go to school besides Davis are all down there. I guess Sac state could work, although it wasn't my favorite school in the first place. SFSU would work, especially studying psychology, but I don't know if I could picture myself living in San Francisco. I love visiting the city, but I'm not too sure on how I would like living there. But where else do I go? I know Santa Barbara, San Diego, and Irvine would all be great schools in great cities, but they are all down south.

It really is quite confusing. I know my family and a few other people would not be so happy about my going down south. Maybe I'll just need to work extra hard to not get any more C's so that I won't have to worry so much about getting into Davis.

Worry, worry, worry. It's a big problem for me; it always has been. I've been getting a lot better with giving my worries to God and voicing that no matter what it means for me, I want His will done in my life. But sometimes the worry still gets to me. Of course it's a life long process, being able to fully give whatever future one may have over to God. And life long means that I will never be as far along as I would like in my faith. But I simply have to keep pushing.

Do you want to go to the seaside?

Today is June 6th, and it was pouring rain. The weather has been so strange lately, and it only amplifies my want to go do summer things. Last summer I ate a lot of frozen yogurt, played tennis every other day, and went star-gazing with friends on a few occasions. Of course I can't really do any of those things with the weather so crappy. I want to go to the beach so badly! And not some cold, cloudy, windy beach. I want to go to a beach where the sand is warm, the sun is shining, and you people don't look at you like an idiot for swimming in the ocean.

I've always wondered what it would have been like to grow up on the beach. Ever since watching that show Rocket Power back in the day, I've always wanted to live right on the coast. The members of one of my favorite bands, Switchfoot, all grew up in San Diego. When they were first starting to make music, they would meet up, play some music, go surfing for a quick break, and then went back to making music. Surfing would be so fun, and being able to go from sitting and playing a guitar in ones own home to jumping in the Pacific with a surfboard in a matter of minutes would be the coolest thing ever.

Of course there is more than plenty of time for me to learn how to surf and/or live near the ocean. Maybe that will just mean my children will grow up on the coast, rather than myself. I would be ok with that, although as much as I wouldn't mind being wealthy, I can't see myself as one of those rich people that you usually find living near the coast. You know, the kind that buy their children expensive cars for their 15th birthdays. Then again, maybe I'm just stereotyping.

But I'm going to live on the coast some day, even if that means making myself a hermit!

Well. . . Maybe not something quite so awkward.

Dive into a holy river and wash away my sins

I've had a hardcore song stuck in my head all day. Weird, I would say.

Despite none of my teachers from last semester bothering to use blackboard, I was able to figure out my statistics grade by shooting a quick email to my instructor. I already knew I didn't do well on the final, so it wasn't much of a surprise to me to see that I totally failed it. What got me was my grade in the class overall, which was a 68%. Luckily, my teacher's grading scale labels a C as anywhere from 77 to 66%. I got a low C.

Now, I have never been good at math. Actually, I take that back, I was good at math in fourth grade. You now, when 4 x 5 = 20? That kind of stuff. I have never nor do I believe I will ever be "good" at math; I will always just scrape by. And I am fine with that, as long as it allows me to get where I need to go ok.

The part about this grade that kills me is the fact that it looks bad. A low C looks like you, as the student, didn't really care about the class. Like you just did the homework when you could, didn't bother to look at the practice exams, and just goofed off in class. That wasn't me. This class was so important to me and I put so much work into getting every homework assignment done, doing all of the practice exams at least a few times, and taking the time outside of class to get together with classmates and study for hours.

And yet I got a low C. . . it irks me a bit. But if such a pitiful representation of all my hard work helps to gain myself access into a bigger and better school, then I'll take it. I'll take it using a pre-sanitized washcloth, of course, but I'll take it.

Shipwrecked

I hate this. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, but there really is no other choice. And if it helps in the long run, then it's worth it. But as of now, this is no fun.

"Often times, though, you get thrown so hard by these sudden changes that it seems it will be much too hard to recover."

I guess I knew what I was talking about when I said this.

I can almost see you.

Summer is just around the corner! I finished my first final today, which just makes me that much more anxious about the ones I have coming up. But if I can just power through all of the work and get them done, I will be done with my first year of college!

Strange that my first year is already almost done. It turned out a lot different than I thought it would, and that means I only have one more year left of junior college before I attempt to transfer to a bigger school and see how I fare there. It'll be a scary time, I know that, but not really scary in a bad way, if that makes sense. Just a lot different than what I've become used to the past two years. I think my only fear is staying involved, because that's when I have the most fun, is when I feel that I'm a part of something.

But before all of that, I have summer! I have a lot of expectations for this summer, and I'm just hoping they all come through in a good way. I plan on going to Disneyland with my family, which I always love doing. Then I have Vegas with my girlfriend's family, which will be so much fun! I get excited just thinking about it. Possibly a camping trip with a bunch of friends. Of course the regular school and work, but hopefully those will also play out in my favor.

I just want a good summer where I grow as a person. I think last summer let me down in many ways, but maybe this time around I will actually be able to say that I enjoyed the few months of fun before starting all the work again. But I think in order for me to really enjoy summer, I will need to work at things, and maybe try things a bit differently than usual. I just have to remember that I am my own person, and that I need to be my own person. If I can just remind myself of that, I think it will improve many aspects of my life, including the ones I've been struggling in over the past few months.

Finally. . . let's count how many times I said the word "summer" in this whole post.