Losing You to You

"Ezekiel, come with me. You've seen some horrible things so far, I know, but I still want you to see more. Don't resist me, even though I know you won't. You're fully dedicated to me, and that brings so much joy to me. All this joy that I have feels somewhat squandered by what I'm about to show you, however.

Do you see what they've done to my home? No? Well, look right there, in the door way. Look at all that vile jealousy. The envy that they have for one another and the things of the world. It saddens me. Do you see now how they try to drive me out of my own home, Ezekiel? What have I done for them but love them, and yet they show nothing of the sort towards me.

Come over here, to the court entrance. This is going to be hard to show you, but you need to see this. Do you see this hole? Dig a foot or so deeper, and you can see all they have done in my home. Look at the priests, taking part in the destruction of their own lungs with incense pledged to others. The women, they cry for other providers. Look at those men, how they praise the morning light. As if that light was the true light.

How little they truly understand.

It disgusts me. I hate to be so disgusted with my own children, but what else is there left to feel? You've seen so much, Ezekiel, I only ask that you see a little more. You must understand that I cannot let these people continue to live. They are simply abominations now. There is no glory left in them. They have abandoned me, and they have abandoned all hope. I'm going to have to destroy them. I will not let any of them live, as much as I may want to.

You must understand, Ezekiel, that hearing the cries of my children in my ear is not something I long to hear, yet I must turn a deaf ear and a blind eye.

Do you see, Ezekiel?"

~Ezekiel, Chapter 8. As perceived by myself.

Come though, kaleidoscope.

I find the shower to be the best thinking place that I can easily access. Outside of an ocean front cliff at sunset or a warm meadow at noon, the shower is a great place to just stand (or sit) and think about life. Because I'm a thinker, or at least I like to tell myself that, and at the same time, I like things simple. I like books, music, ideas that are straightforward and easy to understand, while at the same time making me think. I'm actually quite fond of this preference that I have.

And there I was, letting the warm water run over my shoulders, as I contemplate the things that really matter in life. And I find myself thinking about Jesus. Now, when someone says "Jesus" in public, you'll of course get some interesting response, including both sides of the prophetic spectrum. They say either he was a man of great influence who spoke to God or he was the Son of God. I think it's clear which side of the spectrum on which I stand.

But personally, I've found it hard to picture Jesus as a person. Thats essentially what he was, a person, like you and me. He was flesh. Flesh, in terms of the Bible, is the reason in which we sin, and in order to fully know God, we must overcome the flesh. So if Jesus was the flesh, that meant he had to have the same characteristics of a human being as myself. This brings a whole bunch of thoughts into my mind.

What would Jesus do? Would he have stood in the shower reflecting on how difficult of a week it's been? In John 6:66 (Yes, 666, it's not just a random number, it has a meaning) when a vast majority of his followers left him because of miscommunication, did he sit there on a rock, by the ocean, during sunset, and contemplate life as I do? Would he like Kaleidoscope as much as I do? Well, if he is God in the flesh, wouldn't that mean that he likes all music, considering that he invented music? Music that exalts Him of course. So then, actual tones and notes aside, what about lyrics? Could he see the emotion and thought put into Hardcore Rock with all of it's screaming and heavy guitars? Would Jesus prefer In-n-out or Carls Jr.? What about video games? He obviously said murder was wrong, but he also acknowledged the fact that war, and the death that comes with war, was something that was going to happen, and even used it to lift Himself up. So would he approve of a game of Capture the Flag between five friends who happen to enjoy pumping virtual lead into each other's virtual chests? There is no animosity at all in the mix, yet it is still a simulation of murder, which he despised, and war, which he used as a positive tool. So what would he say?

Or would all of these things we enjoy and struggle with every day be seen by Him as mere distractions from the ultimate goal in life, and as such, excluded from His daily routine?

Who knows? I'm not expecting an answer, but this is one of those places, apart from the shower and the Pacific Ocean, in which I think and write down such thoughts.

"We do best when your boot is on our neck."

This quote came from a sermon Rob Bell of Mars Hill Church did a few years back about Paul when he was in prison and all the letters he wrote there. It's a really good sermon, it's been a while since I heard it, and I really want to listen to it again. Finals are coming up, and I've always found the best way to get through anything stressful is to pray about it and read God's word, so a good sermon to hear would definitely help. It's curious, because in that sermon, Rob says that the church does best when we are suffering, because when everything is going well, we kind of lose that need for God. And it's not that we actually do lose the need for Him, it's just that we kind of... forget, I think. I guess I'm kind of doing that now though, since it's a stressful time, and I'm searching for God's word in more ways than just reading a chapter a night out of the Bible. Or is that just seeking comfort where it's guaranteed? Who knows?

But anyway, yes, finals week is coming up. Next week in fact, and I want to take them, ace them, and be done with it. I'm really looking forward to winter break and having time to spend with all of my friends. Plus, no school makes that a lot easier.

Anyway, short post for now, but that's how things go sometimes. It's 11 pm and I'm really tired. Goodnight.