Make it long, make it last, make it cruel, just make me laugh.

The Pryzstowski Open was scheduled to hold its first game of the season today, but was canceled due to violent windstorms in the central valley area. So instead of playing tennis, the players decided to just go take a walk and chat.

And you know, I can safely say that one of the things I appreciate most in life is just simply walking with a good friend and talking about things that make us laugh.

I mean, it was everything from canine tactics when guarding territory to the Sham-Wow guy selling magazines in jail to that pink mustang and its driver that always seems to mug me when we play tennis. We just laughed about stupid stuff, and that's one of the greatest joys for me. I just love to laugh. I don't really see how I could get through life without laughter. It's a way that I deal with things; instead of brooding about a rough day, I try my best to joke about it. Big problems seem much easier to handle when laughed at. Big problems have low self esteem.

Sometimes I feel like the things I'm laughing about are immature for my age. I take a look from the opposite side of the room at a group of guys my age, and they all look the same. Black hats and t-shirts, jeans and sneakers, it's become a stapled look. There's nothing wrong with that, but there seems to be this sense of somber maturity that goes along with that style. That it's fine to laugh at something, it just has to be mature enough. Of course, I don't know them personally, so I could be very wrong.

Then there's also the possibility that my immaturity is what gives me this view point of the rest of our generation, and maybe it's that naivety that I need to outgrow. But if maturing means not laughing as much, then I'm really in no hurry for September to come around.

I guess the fact of the matter is that I know people who are successful adults, yet laugh at everything. It can be done, and I want to be one of those people.

I cannot change you; You'll never change.

Today I saw an old friend at work. Well, I wouldn't necessarily use the word friend. We were what I would have considered best friends for a while, but after entering into high school together, found that we each saw life in very different lights. There was a falling out, and unfortunately, that was that.

I didn't greet him or anything when I saw him. I tried to make eye contact, but as I wasn't the one bagging his groceries, that was sort of difficult. After that I saw him outside, and I could have said something to him, but what was I supposed to say? "Hey man, how have you been? Sorry that I haven't spoken to you in three years, but sometimes I just don't like to be involved with the sort of people you've become. Remember middle school? Good times, huh?"

Maybe I should have said something to just see what would happen. Who knows?

Besides that, however, today was a really good day. I got to experience something totally new, and I'm really glad I did. It was something that I needed to experience.

It's back to school tomorrow, and while my break wasn't the most exciting thing ever, I was looking forward to summer more anyway. Besides, break wasn't all bad! I just can't wait for this semester to be over, I'm ready for things to get at least a little more laid back for a while.

Losing You to You

"Ezekiel, come with me. You've seen some horrible things so far, I know, but I still want you to see more. Don't resist me, even though I know you won't. You're fully dedicated to me, and that brings so much joy to me. All this joy that I have feels somewhat squandered by what I'm about to show you, however.

Do you see what they've done to my home? No? Well, look right there, in the door way. Look at all that vile jealousy. The envy that they have for one another and the things of the world. It saddens me. Do you see now how they try to drive me out of my own home, Ezekiel? What have I done for them but love them, and yet they show nothing of the sort towards me.

Come over here, to the court entrance. This is going to be hard to show you, but you need to see this. Do you see this hole? Dig a foot or so deeper, and you can see all they have done in my home. Look at the priests, taking part in the destruction of their own lungs with incense pledged to others. The women, they cry for other providers. Look at those men, how they praise the morning light. As if that light was the true light.

How little they truly understand.

It disgusts me. I hate to be so disgusted with my own children, but what else is there left to feel? You've seen so much, Ezekiel, I only ask that you see a little more. You must understand that I cannot let these people continue to live. They are simply abominations now. There is no glory left in them. They have abandoned me, and they have abandoned all hope. I'm going to have to destroy them. I will not let any of them live, as much as I may want to.

You must understand, Ezekiel, that hearing the cries of my children in my ear is not something I long to hear, yet I must turn a deaf ear and a blind eye.

Do you see, Ezekiel?"

~Ezekiel, Chapter 8. As perceived by myself.

I made a vow to carry you home. If you fall sick, or you pass out.

Have you ever thought about those things that you want to do before you die? I do all the time. I have these images and ideas that pop into my mind every now and then, and most of the time I forget what they were about, or why I even wanted to do them in the first place.

But Monday afternoon, as I was driving home from school, one of these thoughts came to me, and I realized how much I would love to actually do this thing.

I take the backroads to and from Altamont Pass, and seeing as they are indeed backroads, there are a lot of open fields. Every day I pass this field on my right that always looks so peaceful and quiet. From this field, you can basically see the whole west side of Tracy, and somehow this picture has really grown on me. I find it beautiful.

Someday I would love to get a couple of my musician friends (which already kills this idea, seeing as I only regularly see one of my musician friends) together, learn 10 or so songs, get them basically perfect, and then go out and have ourselves a concert at that open field. We don't need an audience. In fact, I think I would enjoy it more if there was no audience at all. Just four or five of us, guitars, bass, drums, and vocals, and just put on a concert for ourselves.

Of course there are some problems with this idea. For instance, finding the people and the time to practice all of these songs would be very difficult. Plus, just because I think this would be the coolest thing ever doesn't mean anyone else will! And how we would find electric outlets to plug in our instruments and amps is still a mystery to me. And trust me, I have thought about it. The best idea I could come up with was a recon mission involving sneaking all of the extension cords into the fire station 300 feet away and stealing their electricity. But stealing from firefighters doesn't seem like my sort of gig.

Seriously though, after playing this scenario out in my mind a couple of times, I'm starting to love it. Maybe someday though, huh?

So what about a set list? Let's go with this:

1. The Sound of You and Me - Yellowcard

2. We Are One Tonight - Switchfoot

3. I Can Talk - Two Door Cinema Club

4. Kids - MGMT (Haha I've always wanted to perform this song!)

5. The Funeral - Band of Horses

6. Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional

7. Sign of Her Glory - Rookie of the Year

8. A Day Late - Anberlin

9. Your Hand in Mine - Explosions in the Sky

10. So Here We Are - Bloc Party (The song I was listening to while picturing this moment)

Ok, so I could substitute some of these songs out, but this seems like an awesome concert set list. Even if it would be a tempo roller coaster. BUT So Here We Are has to close the set, and Your Hand in Mine NEEDS to be in there somewhere. You cannot have such an awesome concert without that song.