Dark is the way, light is a place.

Uhhmm, well I'm not really sure how I feel tonight. I'm extremely tired from today. Basically constant running around from 12:30 to 9:00, although I really should stop complaining. One of my closest friends has been acting really weird to me lately, and tonight she finally talked to me about it. I think we got somewhere, and I really like that we are trying to reconcile, but I still just feel sort of uneasy. I feel like if I try to act normal, like she wants me to, I'm just going to say something to make her upset again, and we will be right back to where we started.

I guess I'm just frustrated, plus I feel like although she got some huge monster off of her chest, I still feel totally in the dark about what I did to make her upset. I know I said something, I'm just not sure what. I just hope things can be good again.

I just don't know about a lot of my friends anymore. I love them all, but it seems like since we graduated high school, everyone's brain randomly imploded. It's like all of these people that I thought I knew for the past year suddenly "malfunctioned", causing them to think things that aren't true, find faults in people that they enjoyed about that person in the first place, or seemed have a total change in opinions and priorities. Or am I just describing the process of growing up?

Is this sudden, cataclysmic change that I see in most of my friends just the aftershock of the earthquake we call life? If so, then all I can say is that I wasn't prepared for it. I'm really excited to see what the rest of my life has in store for me, but sometimes I look back and wish I could relive some of my previous days. Les Mis rehearsals, Halloween parties, late night pranks, prom, and basking in the newly rediscovered Tracy snow before school. Sometimes I want to go back farther. Monticello Elementary School, hanging out with Mitchell at lunch by the tetherball pole, talking about Pokemon and Spongebob. Those were the simple days.

But as much as I loved those simple days, I don't want to go back to them permanently. In the here and the now, that's where I am, and I think it's a good place to be. I just want things to settle down.

"And they say 'settle down.' Settle down, waiting for that day to see, to see where you belong."