College Kids

Well, not really... The kids in most of my classes, anyway. As I sat in my English class, group 2, made up of 8 students, it came to me that half the reason I want to get out of community college so bad is because of the kids there. Let me rephrase that; I don't want to get out of community college "so bad", what I mean is, one thing I really don't like about community college kids is how most of them seem to just not care.

In this group, we were supposed to be brainstorming deeper questions to a selection we read on Jefferson's notes concerning Virginia and slavery. Out of those 8 students, I'd say 3 of them actually said a word in the group. Those 3 being me, a girl sitting next to me, and a kid who always speaks up in class. The rest of them just sat there with that vacant, mildly surprised look on their face of "... I don't know...". These kids really are very annoying, because even though they may not want to be here, I do. Ok, so the class is probably the least interesting of all my classes, and yes, the group work tends to be so simple yet time consuming that one would find it even easier to work on it by one's self, but if we don't brainstorm these questions, we can't finish the assignment, and we won't get credit. I know you don't care, but I do, so please, just speak up.

Maybe I'm just asking too much? It's true that I don't always speak up in class when the teacher answers a questions, but if we are doing something that's counting towards our grade and our chance of gaining these credits, you better believe I'll say something.

Geez, I just want to be surrounded by people who want to learn, that's all. There's my venting for today. And despite the venting, I really have had a good day today! The weather was fantastic, and classwork was productive. I now have bible study tonight, and then relaxing. Sounds good to me!

Waiting for that day to see. To see where you belong.

I think I might have finally found the school that I want to go to after Las Positas, and I have to say, it excites me! My dad was talking to my Uncle John the other day while I was at work, and apparently they had a long conversation about colleges on the ones my cousin Liz was looking at before she found SFU. After my dad informed him that I would be studying psychology, my uncle suggested what he considered to be the top three schools for psychology, out of the ones he visited. He said that the three schools I should be looking at are SFU (although he knows that I'd rather go down south), UC Irvine, and UCLA.

Well, I'd already looked into UCLA, and it is a great school that I would be so lucky to go to. It does have a pretty large selection of prospective students to take into consideration though, but it's definitely something I'll look into. San Francisco is such a fun place to visit, but I really can't see myself living there. Maybe in the future, but not now. Irvine was a school that I hadn't really looked into yet, but a couple friends said they planned on applying there, and they seemed to like it, so I said "what the hey?!" and decided to check out the school.

All I can say is that the school looks totally beautiful, and seeing that it's a UC, I'll absolutely be getting a good education at a school that's affordable. I hadn't put much thought into the school before, but now taking a closer look at it I'm finding that I'm really liking the look of the school and where it's located, which is in Orange County if you didn't know. I'm going to keep researching about it, but I've got a hunch that this time I've actually found the right school. Let's hope so right?

On another completely different side note, I've been wanting to play a video game recently that would really put me in the Halloween mood, and I think I know exactly what will help with that. Red Dead Redemption is coming out with a DLC next week titled "Undead Nightmare". It's basically a zombie pack, just in time for Halloween, with survival modes and undead to boot. I'm quite excited for it!

"A smelly smell that smells... smelly."

Don't ask my why I used this quote, because it just randomly came to me. I think because it reminds me of something disgusting, just like this stupid sickness I'm dealing with.

You know, every time I get sick, it's the same thing. Well, it's one of two things. The first and most common type of sickness cycle for me is what I will label Cycle A, and goes a little like this: I start to feel bleh in the evening, and the next day, I am sick with whatever ailment has targeted me at that time. I take a day or two to rest and then I get better. Simple! Then there's the other cycle. The evil, maniacal one that likes to watch me suffer, which shall be named Cycle E, because it is evil. It consists of me feeling ill the night before, and getting sick the next day. The day after that, I feel great, but this is only a cruel joke, because the next day I feel just as bad as the day before. Ok, maybe not just as bad, but this diabolical circle of bleh is haunting me again. And it's annoying.

Go away, sickness. I hate you.

So everybody put your best suit or dress on. Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once.

I had one of the strangest dreams last night, but it wasn't strange in the sense that what happened would have been totally impossible, it was strange because of how real the scenario was. There was one thing in the dream that had never really crossed my mind before, but now that I think back on it, under normal circumstances it would have. It was just the time and place. Anyway, I think when I woke up, I actually said "wait, what?" out loud, so there you go. But I like having dreams like that, because, to be honest, I love contemplating about them during the day and where in the deep trenches of my brain that possibly came from!

So hip hip hoorah for weird confusion!

I've come to the realization that trying to write any sort of creative piece has got to be the hardest thing I've ever done. And usually when I have an idea, I instantly start to write stuff down about it, but I decided that on this most recent idea, I would let it sit and mull for a while. It's been about three weeks, or more, since I originally came up with the idea, and I'm starting to really have an idea form. I've been reading a book Stephanie got me dealing with writing fiction, so hopefully it will help somewhat. Anyway, I'll keep you posted!

I think that's all for today. Let's see if anything interesting happens tomorrow, okay?

Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales

Over the past few days I've felt slightly out of the loop with my diminished circle of friends. Some of my friends I barely see, while others I see all the time, but when I do they always seem just so bleh, it's not really enjoyable. I guess that's what happens when everyone is busy, huh?

Well, I'm supposed to be going to Pismo in a few weeks with some friends, and I'm really looking forward to that, but my work hasn't let me know yet whether or not I'm going to have the time off. Please, work, let me know!

Well, nothing new has really been happening lately. It's almost Halloween, though! I like Halloween, but you know, I'm not really sure why. Let's take a look at some reasons why I confuse myself:

A) I hate scary movies, things that pop out at you, and all demons of the supernatural sort. They scare me.

B) Besides trick-or-treating and dressing up, most of the things kids do during Halloween really never interested me. I'm talking about egging cars, going around scaring little kids, or just plan fooling around.

C) Although I've worked in a couple haunted houses before, I'm not particularly scary, and I hate walking through haunted houses.

But yet, I love the time of the year Halloween falls on, I've always had good memories of Halloween, and I'm really into those cheesy Halloween specials/disney channel movies/tv shows, carving pumpkins, and giving out candy.

My family has never been into Halloween, mostly meaning my parents. The most decoration you'll get out of us is a few holey pumpkins and a scarecrow, and no one really ever dressed up, but yet I still have some vivid memories of Halloweens from my childhood.

One that I always seem to go back to has always stumped me as to why I even remember it. It had to be the most un-exciting Halloween ever, but for some reason I really enjoyed it. I don't remember how old I was, but I do remember that while my dad was helping out at the church Halloween/Harvest festival at the park, and my mom and sister were trick-or-treating, I was tasked with staying home and handing out candy. I basically sat in my family room (the one with the tv and my playstation two), and played RayMan 2 and watching those previously mentioned Halloween movies all night, all the while periodically running to and fro handing out candy to those who were actually participating in the festivities.

So I don't know what it is about Halloween, but I've always really enjoyed it. I hope this year will be a good one too! If I'm not working, that is lol!

A day in the life

Today was a fairly good day. Nothing really too exciting going on, but that's how it's been the past few weeks. You know, I'm ok with that, though. It's weird, I've hit this point where I really don't have a goal that I'm constantly thinking about. I mean, I do have a goal to get all of my credits and transfer to a school to continue my education, but I haven't had any short term goals as of late. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

But I do know that today in class, while responding to question for today's journal entry, I came to the conclusion that I'm much happier when I have some sort of goal in mind. It doesn't have to be anything huge, but I really enjoy the feeling of having a goal and moving towards it. To me, it's very fulfilling. And by me not having a real goal to try and reach lately, I've been just sort of... nonchalant. I think that's the best way to put it. I've been playing video games a lot, I've been staying up late, I've just been doing a lot of lounging around. And I think that's because I don't have a short term goal in my mind to keep me thinking.

I think I'm going to have to work on that.

In other news, and this may seem ironic considering what I just said, I've been trying to find new things to watch on television and am enjoying what I've been finding. The Event, Family Guy, Survivor, and plenty of Disney Channel shows are just a few of things I've been gladly perusing lately. I'm really not ashamed to say it; I love Disney Channel. And cartoons. Personally, I love to keep that balance of those innocent types of shows you watched in your youth and shows that are aimed at a much older audience. It keeps a good neutrality with blood and violence, and laughter and values, to put it frank. I'm definitely trying to live under the mentality that I shouldn't be in a hurry to grow up, yet at the same time, I should become mature enough to function as an adult in the adult world. I think too many young people rush the end of their youth, and then you end up with people saying, "man, I wish I was in high school again. Those were the days". I want to grow up and be able to say, "yeah, the years of my youth were great, but by the time I really became an adult, I was ready for it". Maybe that doesn't happen, but that's what I'm aiming for.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. Alyssa is having a halloween shenanigan next weekend, I want to say. Then the week after, I'm going to pismo with some of my friends for the weekend, IF I can get the time off. Here's to prayer!

I have no fear of drowning; it's the breathing that's taking all this work.

I'm about to do the unspeakable. I know, it's insane, it's uncalled for, and it's got just about as much rhyme and reason as a pogo stick on a tightrope, but here it goes.

I'm going to relate a video game to real life.

Now I know some of you (or maybe all of you) reading this will roll your eyes and say, "what a nerd", but I enjoy finding interesting connections between two seemingly unlike instances. So there's my defense. Let the stones fly.

I recently purchased this game that I had been wanting since October of last year. I only remember that, because the game reminds me of a perfect thing to play during Halloween. The game is titled Demon's Souls, and it's been named a "hardcore medieval strategy", and for good reason. The setting is this:

In an effort to discover a power that would forever protect his people and himself, King Allant of Boletaria delved into the realm of the soul arts, hearing of it's tremendous strength. Going a bit too far, the King unwittingly awakened a horrible entity, known only as the Old One. The Old One is basically the demon of all demons, and in releasing him, unleashed both a thick, dark fog and a horde of terrifying, soul-devouring demons upon the land of Boletaria. Those overtaken by the demons either lost their minds or their lives, but almost everyone lost their soul. Adventurers from around the surrounding lands have now began to venture into the fog, and although many have entered, none but one has returned, to warn the world of the dark days that are upon those of Boletaria. This is where you come in. You are just another adventurer looking to rid the demons of this land, and the means in which you do that is up to you.

Now the reason this game is so intense is because of its difficulty level. To put it short, you are either outnumbered, facing 3-story tall giants with an axe that will cleave you in half with one swing, or falling into traps left by the environment. If you turn a corner too fast, you are dead. If you make a wrong move, you are dead. If you aren't prepared for anything and everything, you. are. dead.

So as you can imagine, there is a lot of dying. That's not so bad, you say, if a little frustrating. Well it wouldn't be that bad, if all that happened was you died and had to restart the level. No, Demon's Souls, isn't going to be that cute and fuzzy. No, when you die, you then become a spirit. You are basically the same as when you were alive, except that you can die much easier. The souls that you may have collected along the way are now gone, and every single enemy that you may have slain in that level is now back and ready to run you through.

Alright, enough about the game. How does this relate to life? The way I see it, this whole game is a story about going through life. I'm not saying from being born, to eventually leaving this world. I'm talking about choices. Everything in this game is a choice, and just like real life, if you make the wrong choice, there are repercussions.

Of course, you aren't alone, not in the game nor in real life. In the game, other players leave hints for you to "Beware of the next enemies speed" or to "Lay your body right here!". Ok, no, that was a joke. I think only two people would get that joke, and they probably won't read this, so, yeah... But anyway, you can also summon people to help you during your game, as in life, you have friends and family to help you out and give you advice about what is coming up next in your life. Again, just like real life, you have enemies. Enemy players. Sometimes you will be minding your own business, and someone will come along and invade your game. You cannot escape, and the only way to get them to leave is to kill them or be killed by them. It's intense, frustrating, and many times, unfair.

Just like life. Sometimes someone comes along and does something to you that just makes you want to break down and cry. It happens, but you have to learn to deal with it, and move on.

What I'm trying to say is, sometimes life sucks. It's unforgiving, it's unfair, and it's not going to slow down for you. Despite this, we have to find a way to move slow in a fast world.

So there you have it, the absolute dorkiest I can get. Relating a video game to life. It's sad, I know. How's that for an update, eh, friend?