Putting all the words together

First order of business... The new Yellowcard record When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes is finally out! And of course it deserved some lyric-age as my title. This is probably the first album that has come out in the past 2 years that I instantly loved right when I heard it. I take that as a good sign!

Now on to the fun stuff... if you consider decapitating fun. Yep, that's what my dream was about last night. I decapitated a young lady with a halberd. She had a spear though, and it was either I died or she did. Here's a short recap on what I actually remember. The setting is a hotel room (huh?). So there are two women, one with the spear, the other unarmed I think. One of us has to die for some reason, and seeing as they are both trying to kill me, I'm fairly sure I'm their first choice. Then suddenly, the unarmed woman just get's up and leaves. I take this as an opportune time to strike, so I use my halberd (a spear with an axe-head at the end instead of a knife or spearhead) to drag her weapon out of her hands. So she lays there on the floor, and I raise my halberd and ask "Are you ready?" and she just looks at me. Then I bring the weapon down in a swift arc, and her head rolls away.

What? Really? Out of all the weird dreams I've had, this has to be the worst. I decapitated a woman... what kind of monster am I? I woke up feeling like a total jerk too. I think I'm going to look this up in one of those dream dictionary things. Not that I think they have any truth to them whatsoever, but it's interesting, right?

P.S. I really need to work on posting on this thing more often. 18 days in between posts, really?

Death and Taxes...

... the only things of this earth that are actually forever, and one of them happens to be money.

How is it that right after I turned 18 and became a legal "adult", everything is about money? You need to pay for this, and this, and you have to work to pay for that stuff, but in order to work, you need to pay union dues, which is just more money. I used to really have that mindset that, yes, money was important, but it shouldn't really be given too much weight. Now, I understand things a bit better. I still know that money is just money, but it's also a necessity, as much as I'm we would all love it not to be.

My mother always used to say something along the lines of "who told you to grow up?", and it's kind of a good point. Did anyone ask me if I wanted to get older? No I don't think so. Now, if I had been given the choice, would I have stayed a child forever, or would I have said that I wanted to grow older? I'd bet you all the money I have in my bank account right now(which isn't a lot) that I would have chosen to grow older. I think all children dream of being adults, and all adults dream of reverting to children, at some point in their lives. Even though I'm only 18, I sometimes wish I could go back to Monticello elementary where everything was exceedingly simple. My biggest worries was whether I was going to play pokemon or watch tv when I got home. I also think it is easier to appreciate life when you don't know much about it.

I had some good times in my childhood, but I really am looking forward to the opportunities I have opening up for me in life. If I had the money right now, I could go spend three months studying theater and other subjects in London. That sounds so great to me, but I know there will be much more opportunities like that soon. And once I have the money, I'll be able to take advantage of those opportunities. When I get the money.

Come though, kaleidoscope.

I find the shower to be the best thinking place that I can easily access. Outside of an ocean front cliff at sunset or a warm meadow at noon, the shower is a great place to just stand (or sit) and think about life. Because I'm a thinker, or at least I like to tell myself that, and at the same time, I like things simple. I like books, music, ideas that are straightforward and easy to understand, while at the same time making me think. I'm actually quite fond of this preference that I have.

And there I was, letting the warm water run over my shoulders, as I contemplate the things that really matter in life. And I find myself thinking about Jesus. Now, when someone says "Jesus" in public, you'll of course get some interesting response, including both sides of the prophetic spectrum. They say either he was a man of great influence who spoke to God or he was the Son of God. I think it's clear which side of the spectrum on which I stand.

But personally, I've found it hard to picture Jesus as a person. Thats essentially what he was, a person, like you and me. He was flesh. Flesh, in terms of the Bible, is the reason in which we sin, and in order to fully know God, we must overcome the flesh. So if Jesus was the flesh, that meant he had to have the same characteristics of a human being as myself. This brings a whole bunch of thoughts into my mind.

What would Jesus do? Would he have stood in the shower reflecting on how difficult of a week it's been? In John 6:66 (Yes, 666, it's not just a random number, it has a meaning) when a vast majority of his followers left him because of miscommunication, did he sit there on a rock, by the ocean, during sunset, and contemplate life as I do? Would he like Kaleidoscope as much as I do? Well, if he is God in the flesh, wouldn't that mean that he likes all music, considering that he invented music? Music that exalts Him of course. So then, actual tones and notes aside, what about lyrics? Could he see the emotion and thought put into Hardcore Rock with all of it's screaming and heavy guitars? Would Jesus prefer In-n-out or Carls Jr.? What about video games? He obviously said murder was wrong, but he also acknowledged the fact that war, and the death that comes with war, was something that was going to happen, and even used it to lift Himself up. So would he approve of a game of Capture the Flag between five friends who happen to enjoy pumping virtual lead into each other's virtual chests? There is no animosity at all in the mix, yet it is still a simulation of murder, which he despised, and war, which he used as a positive tool. So what would he say?

Or would all of these things we enjoy and struggle with every day be seen by Him as mere distractions from the ultimate goal in life, and as such, excluded from His daily routine?

Who knows? I'm not expecting an answer, but this is one of those places, apart from the shower and the Pacific Ocean, in which I think and write down such thoughts.

And I took you by the hand, and we stood tall.

Alyssa and I had been talking about going to see a show for a while, and after we started dating, kept talking about one show in particular. It had been a show, a musical even, of which I could probably recite to you at least one full song. I could do this only because both Stephanie and Alyssa were obsessed with the musical since spring of last year.

Well, tickets to this show seemed like a great idea for a Valentine's Day celebration, so that's what I did. Now, unless you know who I'm talking about, you're probably asking, "what show could you possibly be describing?"

I'll tell you what show. It's titled Next to Normal. Now, before this past friday, I might have jokingly rolled my eyes while knowing full well that I probably would have liked the show. In fact, almost every show I've seen so far that I fell in love with has been a show I might have wrinkled my nose at, given it was mentioned prior (aha) to me seeing the show. Pride and Prejudice, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, even Les Miserables are all examples of this.

Next to Normal was no different. The show was just so amazing, I can't even really describe the shock. I knew I was going to like it, but I did not expect to love it. The singing was great, and although Alice Ripley might have sang a bit low at some instances, she was incredible in her role. The one thing about this show that really got to me was the emotion. This show communicated so much pain and emotional hurt that it nearly brought me to tears.

Twice.

I had to resist the urge, and believe me, it was difficult. I'm a sucker for a good tragedy. In reality, I hate all the sad stories we hear in the news so often these days, but presented from the stage, I see it as brilliant and I can't get enough. This whole show was just one thing after another, but they did it in such a seamless way, I didn't even think about it like that. Some shows that go for the continual breakdown sort of storyline just heap it on you like a pile of bricks.

The show starts. Then BAM you have this whole crap load of death and despair and depression pounding on the doors yelling "HERE I AM!", and it's almost laughable at times. But Next to Normal had every one of the D's I just mentioned and even more letters of the alphabet, and yet it seemed so real. I sat there thinking that this all happened. I guess the only true word to describe it was powerful. It hit me hard, and I loved it.

Personally, the Dad, Dan, is my favorite character in the show. He tries so hard to keep everything in order and expresses his love to his wife so deeply; he just throws everything that he is on the floor for her and everyone else to see. And in the end, it accomplished exactly the opposite of what he intended. Was his fatal flaw that he cared too much? Can one care too much? Dan has a lyric that says something along the lines of, "Who's crazy? The one who visits the doctor or the one who sits in the car?" He deals with so much and once all the screaming and crying is over, he's sitting in a bloodstained chair, in complete darkness, with only the company of memories/ghost of his dead son to "comfort" him. Simply an amazing character. And of course I told Mr. Somers this once I saw him after the show. I mean, why not congratulate an actor on having the best part in the musical, right?

Needless to say, even if I hadn't gone to that show yesterday, it was a completely perfect day, and I loved it so much. I am so lucky!

Sigma...

So much for posting twice a week! It's been more than a week since I've posted! But oh well, what are you gonna do when you have much more homework than usual? That's right, try not to procrastinate!

Speaking of procrastination, Statistics! Man, is that one heck of a class already. I don't know how to use the calculator, the notes we go over don't help us whatsoever, the labs we do are on Excel, which I have no previous experience using, and while there isn't a lot of homework, it takes a long time to do it. Am I complaining? It may seem like it, but I'm really not. To be honest, I like the class because it is so different from a regular math class, and once I get down a good pace to do homework and a good system of taking notes from the fairly useless slides, I think I might be able to pull this class off.

I sure need to if I want to go anywhere good!

Well, there's not much else I wanted to post, so I guess that's it for this one! A post about math! I never thought I'd see that

For You and Your Denial

It feels like it's been so long since I posted anything of any importance on this blog! I've been in a very large and murky rut when it comes to writing as of late. I had this one idea for a play, but that didn't go far. I also had a few other story ideas, but I never really sat down and put them into short story form or anything to see if they flow well. I'm not sure what happened, but all the same, I still haven't found an idea I've been able to stick with. Hopefully soon?

Now that I think about it, I will have plenty of time to write this semester of college, seeing as all of my classes have either a 75 minute or 150 minute break in between them. I have a lot of time to do eat lunch, do homework, read a book, conquer the world, etc., and I'm actually starting to worry about how I'm going to spend my time. Maybe I can master the art of napping, and train myself to take power naps in between classes! That would be so cool!

Along with this new semester comes a new alarm clock. I now have to get up at 7 in the morning every day. Now, that's actually not that big of a difference from last semester, as I usually got up at around 8, but there is one thing that is very important and completely different about these two wake-up times. That is the fact that one requires an alarm clock, while the other allowed me to wake up on my own. For some reason, even if it's at the same time as usual, if I am woken up by an alarm clock it feels like I have had much less sleep than usual. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it at all.

You know, I've also recently started dating one of my best friends, and while I won't go into any sort of detail for you, it's already made this year one to remember :)

Anyway, this post has reminded me of how much I enjoy writing, or typing, my thoughts out, even if others can see them. Maybe I'll try and work up something to post at least 2 or 3 times a week.

By the way, the title of this post is the newest song from the band Yellowcard, who recently have ended their hiatus and have announced a new album and tour for March. I. Am. So. Excited!!!

"Well, back to the old grind."

Yeah, here's another one of those posts where I really have nothing too interesting to say, but I feel like it's been too long since I posted, so here it is.

My second semester of college starts up in a few days, and it'll be back to basically the same schedule as last semester. I really liked my schedule for classes last fall, seeing as it was shorter and all around better than my schedule back in high school, so I'm looking forward to this semester as well! Plus, I'll be able to listen to my iPod on the way to school seeing as I FINALLY got an iPod connector!

And this makes me happy.

Other than that, things have been going great for me, and I hope this year continues on this lovely path that it has chosen to take!